Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
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