Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
