i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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