my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he thought i was a dude.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
