Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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