We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize