ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
