At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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