Those balls look pretty dangerous.
this boner is exhausting
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
