i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
