hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
