Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
