you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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