Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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