i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
