I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
