He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
