okay pat passed out under dana's car
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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