I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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