She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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