i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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