we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
