what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
