I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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