Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Randomize
