I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize