I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
this is an emotional support booty call
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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