Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Holy sore nipples Batman
And my parents said I crawled through the house
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
