She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
