brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
