i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
