What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
