you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
