We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
