friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
