One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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