Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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