Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
