omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
