I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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