what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
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