its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
it glows. i had to have it.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
