are you still at the devil's house?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
