First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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