i think i have herpe
just one?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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