If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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