You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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