I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Randomize
