If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
