nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i used baking grease as lip gloss
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
you will always have a special place in my vag
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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