I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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