toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
