I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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