I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
