I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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