Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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