i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
These tits shall not be calmed
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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