I'll bet she douches with gravy.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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