Have you finally orgasmed yet?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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