those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
